I know a lot of people who love February–they survived the longest month of the year (January!) and get to move forward and focus on love. But some people struggle with Valentine’s Day. What was yours like? Maybe you were a little panicked because you weren’t prepared or maybe you reflected on when you’d find your soul mate.
But do soul mates even exist? Much of the world recognizes a soul mate as a romantic partner or “the one.” I’d like to propose that soul mates do exist, just with a very different connotation. So read on and determine if there’s a soul mate out there for you.
Think of a time you’ve just “clicked” with someone. More than just bonding over the same love of a football team or finding a common hobby. When you first met this individual, you felt like you had known them forever. Like you’re best friends even if you’re complete strangers. I call this soul connection.
There’s a deeper bond—a spiritual bond—that makes it easy to be around each other and to laugh and learn together. Even if you go years without talking, you can pick back up where you left off as if time were irrelevant. For some people, this person might be a significant other. For me, I’ve found the greatest soul connection with those who have similar spiritual personalities as mine. It feels like our souls are best friends because we find spiritual rejuvenation—peace, guidance, and connection—in similar ways.
Soul connection comes naturally. It just…happens. But I believe that becoming a soul mate takes effort and skill. Let’s learn how.
Become a Soul Mate
Merriam-Webster dictionary describes a soul mate as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament” or “a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs.” If you’ve found a friendship you value or a romantic relationship you want to continue, learning soul mate skills will deepen your connection.
To become “perfectly suited” for the other person will take a lot of communication and compromise. “Good compromises help you and your partner grow together as a team. They foster trust, accountability, consistency, and security in your relationship. A compromise shows that you have a common goal in mind: a healthy partnership, rather than your own singular happiness at heart” (elitedaily.com). Becoming a soul mate includes thinking outside of yourself and creating unity through goals and compromise. It takes believing and believing in the other person. Being vulnerable and opening up your heart and spirit. It takes work.
If you want to give your whole self to a relationship and learn to become the best soul mate, I suggest starting with yourself. Learn to love the authentic you. To be the true you. And to take care of you. Strengthening the relationship you have with yourself will take experimenting with different self-care practices and listening to your inner voice. But, trust me, when I say that you’ll find greater satisfaction and get much more out of a relationship if you learn to love yourself first.
Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
If you felt alone this month with the bombardment of roses and chocolates and mushy Hallmark cards, know you aren’t the only one. As spiritual beings, our souls naturally desire love. Love fuels our inner selves and helps us feel a sense of belonging. Especially in this last year of quarantine and social distancing, people are craving connection.
So, reach out. Get outside of your comfort zone and make a new friend. The more people you interact with, the more likely you’ll discover soul connection. Find someone to serve who doesn’t fall into your normal social group. I’ve found the best of friends in women much older than me and in children decades younger. Help someone less fortunate. It really fills my soul when I am brave enough to lend a helping hand to a stranger. My heart begins to learn compassion and my spirit is opened to love others around me more freely.
Stop looking for your soul mate, your one true love. Start looking around and noticing all the people that need your love. And as you selflessly serve, you’ll discover that what you send out will always come back.
Remember to pause for moments of self-care. Fuel your spiritual center with simple acts of internal love. Meditation, deep breaths, reflective journaling. Pick what works best for you and start today. Learn to love yourself first—so you have more of yourself to give.